By Larry Canning
Good evening and welcome to “The Larry’s” for 2023. A special welcome to our esteemed life members of the “Larry’s” attending tonight –
Jim Furyk three-time “Weirdest Swing” nominee is right here at the front – “You’ve been struggling a bit lately Jim, how’s it going now?”. “Pretty well thanks Larry. I’ve finally fixed that strange loop in my trousers”
Over to the right is Patrick Reed… ”G’day Pat how’s the move to Liv been for you mate?
“A little tough at first Larry because I missed my friends so much… then I realized I didn’t have any and it was all systems go!
Lets get into it, shall we?!
Our first Award goes right back to when “The Larry’s” were in the infancy – The least professional behaviour by a professional…
Nominations are – Phachara Khongwatmai was recently seen in the Hong Kong Open moving a dead branch away from his ball that was roughly 25 feet long. Sure the branch was that dead it was beginning to fossilize but the green pieces of bush wrapped around said limb were clearly very alive. The weirdest part of this whole gig was the presence of a rule’s official overseeing the entire operation. I cant find her name but clearly she was a close relation of the Thai Professional, lets call her Auntie Mavis and she is our nomination.
What happens when you throw a club and it becomes lodged in a tree? Aaaah yes, you throw another, then another, then…. Well hopefully somewhere between the first and third clubs you now have dangling in the same tree, you ask your caddy, “How many do I have left?”. Or, in the case of European Tour Player, Joost Luiten, you swear, kick the shit out of your completely innocent golf bag and allow your pregnant wife to climb up and release your clubs before she gives birth.
The Ryder Cup was a cracker of an event offering up some brilliant and not so brilliant incidents and confrontations, but it was Cantlay’s caddie, Joe LaCava who’s our final nomination. I don’t know Joe personally but from all reports he’s not a bad bloke. On the 18th green on Saturday, between the time his cap-less boss had made a 40-footer and Rory McIlroy was trying to respond with his 20 footer, Joe was a total boofhead.
The winner is – Mavis Khongwatmai!!
Next “Larry” is for the player who was in or nearly leading a tournament only to reach for the Ventolin down the stretch.
Ironically all these nominations came in the same tournament. The 2023 Australian Open at the Australian Golf Club in Sydney –
Lucas Herbert is rapidly becoming one of the best closers of a tournament on tour with his unique style of play that reminds me of a charging William Wallace about to decapitate the nearest Pom while screaming “They can take our lives… but they cant take our freedom!!” . The big guy with the big swing unfortunately had the Stonehaven Cup taken away after he made a meal of the 9th hole with a nasty triple bogey 7.
Minjee Lee looks like emotion is something she takes off on the first tee and whacks it into the same pocket of her golf bag as her watch and wallet. You don’t win major championships with a fragile temperament or a lack of resolve. But Minjee, what were you thinking on the 13th on Sunday?? At that point you were within 2 of the lead when Ashleigh Buhai was watching her golf ball rolling back of the green some 30 metres down the hill leaving a near impossible chip shot. Two shot swing, here we go! No, you did exactly the same and she wound up increasing her lead.
Its no secret, I’m a huge fan of Adam Scott. When he made that 35 footer to take the final round lead by 2, with just 3 holes to play, I came as close as I’ve come since I used to play the tour, to soiling my pants. And this was right in front of 40 odd journo’s who would not have shown a sniff of sympathy. As the TV coverage missed what happened next I’m sure Adams wild snap hook on his 16th hole would have looked just as graceful as always but alas that was the last we saw of him.
The winner is – Adam Scott (Well, I love him…. alright!)
No “Larry’s” is complete without “The Funkiest Name Award”…. Nominations are –
Its extremely tough trying to balance your schedule between the odd invitation on the big stage and playing the LPGA Epson Tour. “I’m a little sick of hanging around waiting for a start then being belted with the last-minute bad news” said Thailand’s Pinyada Kuvanun”.
Keith Horne had a successful year on the European Legends Tour with some top 10 finishes including a runner up in Austria. Turns out Keith’s father Arthur had a cracker of a game himself but never quite measured up to his son’s achievements.
Whilst Asian PGA Tour rookie, Khalin Joshi didn’t have the 2023 he was hoping for, during an interview he assured the media better things lie ahead this year with the addition of his new caddy, his beloved wife, Rogan.
Natascha Grossschadl-Fink is just looking for anyone who’d like to swap a vowel for an “S”.
The winner is … hang on! Its a tie between Keith and Arthur Horne.
Its been a fantastic year and thank you for reading my stuff again!
Happy New Year!
