By Larry Canning
Water! The word is striking fear into the entire east coast of Australia even after it finally stopped dropping out of the sky [for a short while at least]. Speaking of which, how’s this phone conversation I had the other day in the Pro-Shop after being belted with 350 ml of rain in six days.
“Hi Larry, can I get on the course this afternoon (Wednesday)”
“No sorry, it will be next Monday at the earliest”
“Wow that’s good isn’t it?”
“Sorry??”
“If you’re booked out till then you must be going well”
“We’re you calling from?”
“Just down the road”.
Mind you, it was a slightly less frustrating change from the old, “I have a booking on Saturday, is it going to be raining?” During some measured silence as I explore the inner layers of my cranium for an answer I haven’t used before, I often hear this – “Well you live down there, you must have an idea what it’s going to do?”
“Aah yes you’re right sir. I’ve seen this weather pattern before. It was back in 1982, middle of May I believe. We will have 1.3 ml of rain beginning at 4.45am and ceasing at 10.10am… I see your off at 10.30am so all good!”
“Oh and you will have 35 points, Storm will beat Tigers by 6 and Don’t Drop the Soap will break out of the pack and win the 4th at Flemington. ”
Sorry for the old, tarnished cynicism readers. Seems I may have taken one too many Pro-Shop bullets to the head doesn’t it? I’ll try and be better next Wednesday… I promise.
I have totally swerved off the subject I intended to write about. My reference to water was how I’m witnessing more of it than I’ve ever seen falling on my favourite golf course, Mt Broughton and I am now watching the Players Championship and seeing a bunch of the best golfers on the planet soak their pill in the same stuff on surly the most evil 120 metres of golf course architecture; the 17th.
I know water has become a basic ingredient of modern golf course design and the 17th hole a riveting and dramatic an experience to watch but I’m just sick of the stuff. I think its something like 14 of the 18 holes at TPC Sawgrass are bordered by water.
Call me whacky but I remember, back in the middle of February watching the boys at the Genesis Open, weaving their way around one of the best courses (not built on the ocean) in the world in Riviera Country Club. This masterpiece is a perfect example of a brilliant Championship layout where the only obvious collection of water was in the form of ice cubes in the Members Jack Daniels.
No sooner had the tour moved east to Florida for the Sony Open at PGA National (Champion) in Palm Beach Gardens where there are more horrible water hazards than there is grass and the east coast of Australia begins to see rain the likes of which we have never seen before. Yes, you’re now seeing where this piece is going right?
After Sepp Straka won by losing less golf balls than anyone else, off we go to Bay Hill for the Arnold Palmer Invitational and again fairways greens and tees surrounded by artificial ponds and lakes. And yes its still peeing down in Australia!
At what point did a bunch of golf course designers become obsessed with continually penalizing everyone who dares play their tracks, from tour player to punter. I’m certainly not dropping every designer in the same one dimensional cart-bag here. The courses like those built on the Monterey Peninsula are magnificent examples of showcasing the wonderful natural landscape hard up against the ocean (salt water), as are so many courses in Scotland, Ireland, New Zealand, Australia etc and many of these are only recently built. Outside of the need to create dams and waterways to use as irrigation and sources of fill or keep Titleist sales up there with oil, I cant see the need to plonk obviously artificial ponds all over a course at all.
Is it just lack of imagination or the naïve preference of the people who are fronting up with the dosh? I’ve read this theme began back when earth moving machinery took over from a horse, plough and architects with pure genius with serious vision.
The site of this month’s Masters, Augusta, has a handful of water hazards but by and large the course is more about the options you have and which part of the fairway gives you the best looks at those extraordinary green complexes and flag placements. The only thing resembling a caterpillar back when Bobby Jones and Alister MacKenzie created this beauty was the ones crawling up the nearest Crab Apple blossom.
Maybe I should watch more European events… particularly when they play in Great Britain… and especially when my home club is getting flooded?
And let the phone go to message bank until my young trainee comes in for the afternoon shift?
Too many questions??
