Welcome Larry. I know how busy you are but thanks for taking the time to have a word with me.
Larry – No problems at all. Im never too busy to sit down and have a chat with my fan base. By the way, how do I look in these pants?
Question – Looking good?….Watching the US PGA Championship last month, what was your take?
Larry – Well, to use a really annoying cliché… Hasn’t the game changed?
The last time I missed the first 9 fairways, I had 13 stableford points and my playing partners had to physically drag me out of the half way bar to the 10th tee. Tiger, on the other hand, makes the turn in 3 under par!
Question – Your thoughts on the winner?
Larry – Apparently the new body shape for a major winner is a cross between Chris Hemsworth and Uluru. Probably explains why Jimmy Furyk is captaining the Ryder Cup this year and not playing.
Question – So its just brute strength that wins big events?
Larry – No, it’s not just vicious brutality that wins a Major. Whilst Brooks Keopka would rather swap the mid round health food bar and snack on a sleeve of Pro V’s he showed he had perfect control of his iron distances and a pair of soft hands around the greens Liberace would have been proud of.
Question– Speaking of the Ryder Cup?
Larry – As the final players signed their cards at Bellerive Golf and Country Club and Spa and Sauna and other Exclusive stuff, the 8 automatic US selections for this year’s Cup were finalised. Not many surprises here – Brooks Koepka, Dustin Johnson, Justin Thomas, Patrick Reed, Bubba Watson, Jordan Spieth, Rickie Fowler and Webb Simpson.
It’s when we take a gander at the potential four Captain’s picks, it becomes far more fascinating.
Question – Oh, I’m on the edge of my seat!
Larry – One, Eldrick Tont Woods has suddenly emerged and looms larger than John Daly in Day Care Centre! [As we speak] Woods is sitting on 11th on the official US Ryder Cup points list after another dramatic charge at a major. This doesn’t make him an automatic pick but if he remains inside the top 12 and isn’t picked by Captain Furyk, Jimmy will be placed in witness protection for at least 5 years.
Question – I know it’s been discussed on every level of Golf Media but just how bloody extraordinary are Tiger’s achievements this year?
Larry – Lets just go straight to the numbers … Maybe it was an elective I missed at my Woy Woy High School but despite the fact I write and talk about golf a lot, I still have no idea how to decipher the “World Golf Rankings” formula. I do know Tiger’s current ranking is 26, as of the end of August. At the end of 2107 he was 658. Sure he gets starts in tournaments that most 658th ranked players just watch on TV but that single stat is extraordinary!
Question – Larry, Is it true you were higher ranked than Tiger?
Larry – Yes! But to be fair, Tiger wasn’t eligible for the Mt Warren Park Senior Pro-Am that week.
Question – Adam Scott’s been stuck in the “Lost and Found Bin” out the back of the Proshop for 2 years. Why did he suddenly find himself on the top of the leaders board at the PGA?
Larry – Because he hits it better than just about anyone who’s ever played! A couple of years ago I was trying to explain to radio listeners just how purely this guy hits each shot. If you are a television commentator at least you have a visual of the shot you can fall back on but radio doesn’t give you that opportunity. By the end of 2014 I suspect every listener figured I was besotted with Adam.
Question – Is there something you’d like to get off our chest?
Larry – No… I’m OK now. Sure it was tough when he announced his engagement to his girlfriend Marie, but I’ve moved on. It’s just professional now.
Question – Finally, If you had to give one piece of advice to your fellow senior golfers as they become…… more senior, what would that be?
Larry – Keep the important people close to you but ultimately It’s all about prioritising. When you find yourself drifting away from your Club Professional and more towards your General Practitioner, take a step back and ask yourself this question…. You’ve had experience with both of these important figures in your life but which one would you prefer to see while they are wearing a glove?