Spring! When a “young” golfer’s thoughts turn to …

By Larry Canning.

Can you hear it readers?

The rustle of the BBQ cover being removed, angry Magpies test piloting their swooping techniques, lawn mower cords being ripped out of their sockets (closely followed by a single swear word and one solid kick to the back right hand wheel) … that most majestic of sounds a stubby of Boags Premium makes when it’s nestling in beside another one in the bar fridge, and the excited roars from the gallery as Adam Scott sends another perfectly struck driver straight down the centre of a fairway?

It’s Spring folks and that means we sports fans get the opportunity to watch “up close and sometimes personal” some of the best golfers in the world.

As a matter of fact, I find myself leaning back when a tour star walks behind his pill and takes one of those exaggerated swing rehearsals. I mean, you can read the loft on the head as it goes past. What about when you standing next to the tee watching the whole pre-shot routine thing, praccy swing, a moment of composure as the player peers down his intended line, the addressing of the ball then suddenly a voice is heard from behind saying “Quiet Please!” Everyone spins around including the player and his always angry caddy to see why a bloke holding a sign, that says exactly that, needs to wait until it’s absolutely silent before he makes this point

Jason Day is coming to Sydney! It’s been a while since all the stars have aligned and allowed our most recent major winner to return injured and unpregnant. His game is a mixture of brute force, deft short game and a [now former] caddy (Col Swatton), who would throw himself in front of a Bubba Watson 2 iron for his man. The two lads have worked on a routine where Jason shuts his eyes before a shot to maintain his positive image. I tried it once when playing against my mate Brooksy. I trod on my ball, knocked my stubby over and was penalized two shots.  

Adam Scott? Well he’s just plain perfect isn’t he? Adam could change the oil in his car and walk out of the garage looking like Alex Perry. Ever noticed how little time Scotty spends on the range before he plays? That’s because he uses up most his time with the PGA Tour makeup department

Watching him practice leaves me in some kind of state of sublime awe. I feel like I should shave my head, don a maroon gown and sit on the ground chanting.

I grabbed one of his perfectly shallow, symmetrical divots once. I have it at home in a frame next to a photo of my three sons. Sometimes when no-one is around I get it out and wear it on my head where my fringe used to be.

Jordan Spieth will be defending his Australian Open Title which he’s won twice from his three appearances. I haven’t seen another player with the ability to get his ball over the line first no matter how well he is or isn’t playing. I know there’s been a couple of other guys who weren’t bad at winning named Nicklaus and Woods but those two were possibly the best strikers of a ball the world’s ever seen. When you watch Jordan play it’s like “Yeah he’s very good but he could be beaten”.

Then comes Sunday afternoon and you’re really glad no-one ever listens to you anyway.

An elated Jordan Spieth tosses his ball to the crowd after winning a sudden death playoff to take the 2016 Australian Open

Sergio Garcia will be making one of his rare appearances in Australia for the Aussie PGA. Unfortunately this year’s Masters Champion hasn’t been in the best of form since he claimed the title in April. I have a theory though. I reckon his back swing has shortened considerably since he’s been trying to play with that bloody green jacket on. Seriously, I haven’t seen a single photo of him without that thing on since he waltzed out The Butler Cabin six months ago! It’s starting to look like Steve Waugh’s Baggy Green!

Hey Serge, I know the Augusta committee said you could wear it around the world for a year then you have to bring it back, but they didn’t mean literally every day of the year.

Anywhoo folks, turn the barbie off whack the mower away and get out and watch the tournaments…. I’ll see you out there!!

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