The Larry’s for 2013

Larry Canning 174Yes folks, renowned golf writer and Legends Tour player Larry Canning has, after much deliberation, come down from the mount with the 10th edition of golf’s most coveted awards: “The Larry’s”.

By Larry Canning

THIS year marks the 10th anniversary of the game’s pinnacle of awards – “The Larry’s”. These puppies are handed out every December to ….. aaah…. Well, anyone I want, really.

This year’s awards are a mixture of some old traditional, almost iconic, categories and some brand newies which I thought were relevant to the constantly changing landscape. (I read the last part of that sentence in someone else’s article a while ago and have been dying to use it.)

Best Show of “Man Emotion”

My first category goes to the bloke with the biggest show of “Man Emotion” for 2013. The favourite for this award and multiple winner has always been Steve Stricker who seems to be a little confused with when to cry and when not to. Every time Stricker wins another check with more zero’s on it than a remake of “Pearl Harbour”, he bursts into tears. Now I can’t speak through experience but if someone was handing me a wad of cash I couldn’t fit in a 10 inch Titleist Staff bag, the last thing I would do would be to cry. Laugh out loud perhaps or maybe temporally lose control of my bladder, but cry? … definitely not.

Steve Stricker has controversially missed out on a “Larry” in 2013
Steve Stricker has controversially missed out on a “Larry” in 2013

The Larry for “Man Emotion” this year goes to every bloke in Jarrod Lyle’s gallery when he struck that first tee shot in the Aussie Masters, including me. When the big guy walked onto the tee to a rousing and generous applause and started to show his emotion, about 30 blokes standing behind the ropes all started sniffing simultaneously. I was going OK but when Jarrod’s young daughter yelled Daddy and he walked over and gave her a hug, my bottom lip was quivering like a witchetty grub in a birds nest.

Funkiest Name

One of my favourite “Larry’s” is awarded each year to the person with the funkiest name and in 2013 we have some absolute rippers – Its always handy to have a name that suits your line of work like my local butcher John Gristle and the security guard at my favourite pub, Hugh Junit. So I guess it makes perfect sense to be playing the European Senior Tour with a name like Andrew Oldcorn. Other notables are Marvin Udaman who plays on the Asian PGA Tour, Kim Bi O, (my lord … Kim-Bi-O) and Yu Gyoung Soon (yep … soon as I’ve finished this column). Canadian star, Ryan Yip (hope he can chip) is another nomination as well as David Horsey who has successfully made the move from Adult Movies to the European Tour.

Austrian Florian Praegnant will probably have to leave the circuit soon to raise the family and South African Johan Neude just can’t seem find a tour anywhere that will allow him to play. It was a tough choice but The Larry for the funkiest name for 2013 goes to American LPGA player, Robin Hood. Poor girl just couldn’t keep her ball out of the woods and had to retire choosing to give all her prize money to the poor.

Best Commentator

The “Larry” for the best commentator for 2013 was a battle between two of my faves, Ian Baker Finch and Wayne Radar Riley. Radar has that rare ability to get you, and himself, excited about anything from a shallow divot to a 6 inch tier in a green. I never realized just how passionate a man can be when he describes a fairway bunker until I heard Wayne talk about the 17th at Royal Pines! That trap holds a special place in my heart now!

Ian Baker Great Bloke Finch, was obviously struggling with his emotions when calling the action from Augusta in April. Despite his voice getting a little shaky he came out with the quote of the year just after Adam Scott made the winning putt….. “From down under, to the top of the world”. This gives Finchy the edge over Radar and he is now the recipient of his first “Larry”. As my wife Sandra has been in love with Ian for 30 years, she has kindly offered to personally present the award along with anything else he might desire. Come to think of it, I think I’m in love with Finchy as well.

The “Bloke I Most Want To Be” Award

The next “Larry” goes to the bloke who I most want to be. And the nominations are – Adam Scott…. And the winner is… Adam Scott.

Good luck in your various Christmas Cheer Comps and may Santa bring you a new set of Titleist AP1’s.

Merry Christmas.

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