“THE LARRYS”: Golf’s most anticipated annual awards

At a glittering new year ceremony attended by the cream of the international golfing world, LARRY CANNING has announced the sport’s most anticipated and influential awards: The Larrys …

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Hello and welcome again to the Larry’s for 2018.

Since The inception of the Larry’s all those years ago, the game of golf has changed dramatically. Golf coaches have morphed into Air Traffic Controllers, caps have become a table tennis bat attached to a ladle and “A Ferrule” is no longer the small piece of black plastic between the shaft and the head of an iron, it’s a New York Golf spectator.

I’ve tried to embrace the evolution of our game, except for the spectator thing, by introducing some brand new Larry’s for this year.

Let’s tee up our Q star’s and have a rip, shall we.

Nominations for the Larry for his or her role in Biff’s during 2018 are:

I spotted an animated chat between big Aussie tour player Aaron Pike and US star Keegan Bradley about Bradley’s drop from the drink during the Aussie Open. Now I know Bradley has form after his victory over Spanish middle weight Miguel Angel Jimenez a couple of years ago but Keeg’s, if you are fond of your current facial features, I would be dropping your ball in the medium strip on Gardeners Road if Aaron told me to.

Leading “Larrys” contenders playing in the 2018 Australian Open in Sydney. Dimitrios Papadatos (left) dreams of doing a little Greco wrestling while Aaron Pike (centre) keeps a close eye on Keegan Bradley, who is taking a little time out to polish his club shaft whilst contemplating a shot at The Lakes Golf Club.

Brooks Keopka and Dustin Johnson… “allegedly” were pulled apart by a friend when they were shirt fronting each other after the Ryder Cup. Unfortunately the witness to the stoush is about as easy to validate as the informant who brought down Richard Nixon. I wont use this bloke’s code name because they’ll sub edit me. Anyway the yarn is enough for a nomination. 

The 5th player to gain my “Biff” attention is Patrick Reed. Apparently Pat has mates all over the world…. He just has a bit of trouble finding them. Pat decided to have a crack at possibly the nicest young bloke on the planet since Richie Cunningham (out of that cheesy 70’s sitcom – Happy Days). Announcing your dislike for Jordon Spieth is a great idea if you feel you’re numbers are down on people who hate you. It certainly did the trick for me and that’s why Patrick Reed wins “The Larry”!

Another new “Larry” category for this year is the Tour Player most likely to add another string to their bow and take a stroll on the Cat Walk.

Adam Scott doesn’t really need  a stage he actually walks down a fairway like he’s modelling for the latest edition Victoria’s Secret selections anyway. I reckon he could push a lawn mower down the catwalk in a pair of stubbies and terry towelling hat and still “Work it”.

Ricky Fowler has the kiddies hearts a flutter when he slides onto the first tee on his skateboard. I guess there’s a big enough market to warrant him strolling down the Cat Walk in a Onesie.

The winner of the first “Larry” for this brand new category is Aussie Dimitrios Papadatos. As the name would suggest, Dimmi has done a bit of Greek wrestling courtesy of his Professional Greco Wrestling Dad, Spiros. From what I saw while walking the fairways of the Australian Open for Macquarie Sports Radio, I reckon there was a bunch a female admirers who would love to jump into the ring with this talented cockadoodledoorios (rooster).

“Larrys” awards winners Dimitrios Papadatos (left), Aaron Pike (honourable mention) and Keegan Bradley

No “Larry’s” would be complete without the award for the funkiest name on tour would it?

And the nominations are:

I’m sure Jason Day loves to play in Australia but it seems every time the summer of Aussie Golf comes around he’s having another baby. Maybe its time he takes a leaf out of one his fellow PGA Tour players, Kris Blanks.

This next Korean player burst onto the scene when he won the Zurich Classic on the PGA Tour. But that was 4 years ago now. Despite constantly being asked by the media when and if he’s going to break the drought and win again we just keep getting the same old response from Seun Yul Noh.

The winner of the “Larry” for 2018 goes to a young and talented Spaniard. (I think I might have mentioned this guy before but I can’t help myself). As we all are aware, there are quite a few diverse sponsorship opportunities on the European Tour for a young player but one of the quirkiest I’ve heard came to my attention recently. It seems Johnson’s Baby Powder were looking to promote their product in Europe and it was no surprise they chose to use Spanish star Adri Arnaus.

My final “Larry” only has one nomination and winner. Mainly because I’ve used up all my words for this column. Tiger Eldrick Tont Woods wins the award for “Most riveting victory” for the year. And wasn’t it great to see his girlfriend run out and embrace him on the final green. Apparently there were 7 others but they were held back by security.

Happy New Year Kids and may all your skulled chips hit the flag!!


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