Good Evening and welcome to the “Larry’s” for 2017. Yes folks, what started from humble beginnings all those years ago has now reached… well pretty well the same really. Never mind, I say. Let’s have another crack at the Larrys’ for 2017. Along with the old tried and proven categories, I thought I’d introduce some new little pearlers for this year.
So in the words of Harold Holt…. let’s dive right in.
Nominations for best direction of a nude scene involving a golfer with a medium to large profile are –
To avoid a penalty Shawn Stefani stripped down to his jocks to splash his pill out of a water hazard. Nothing unusual here except for the American commentators description of him wearing nothing but his “skivvies”. If he was playing in Australia wearing nothing but his skivvy, he would not only be having a nasty meeting with our PGA Tour Officials but also big Derek from Cell Block D.
Tiger Woods loves lots of things including his dumbells.. oh, and himself. So it was no surprise spotting him shirtless on the cover of VANITY Fair Magazine squeezing a couple of his favourite toys.
Our very own 62 year old ripped superstar, Greg Norman took the “nothing but Skivvies” and “Shirtless” images and took it one step further. The totally nude pic of him about to enter a lake in … well it doesn’t really matter where does it? Was something to behold! He posted it on Instagram (as you do), along with this comment – “Not too many options here at 11,850 ft in the Colorado Flat Top Wilderness after 2 days in the saddle!!!! #chilly “….I have no idea what this means which is why Sharky wins his first “Larry”!
It appears I have a penchant for taking the Edith Bliss out of people’s names and this was made quite obvious to me just the other day when I was having a hit with my accountant, Lou Pole.
It doesn’t matter what Lou says, this category remains one of my favourites.
Nomination’s for this year’s funkiest names are –
It was pretty dam hot and humid during the Aussie PGA on the Goldie last month. I know, I was there! Well apparently for everyone except for Spain’s Adry Amaus.
I wish India’s Deepinder Sinkh the very best on the Asian tour this year. It was a big punt to drop the financial security of the plunger and wrench for a crack at his dream.
He’s not a household name in Australia but Korean tour Player, Young Nam is reportedly seen regularly in the Korean tabloids for his romantic connections with a famous actress and a former Miss Korea. This means he is this year’s winner of the “Larry”. Rumour has it he inherited his flair from his Old Nam.
This brings us to the final “Larry” for 2017 and appropriately a brand new category.
Best performance by a piece of Costume –
Nominations are –
The Masters Green Jacket – I don’t like it … there I’ve said it. Don’t get me wrong, if my new Cleveland Launcher clubs “Launch” my game to the level I need to win at Augusta in 2018 and I must say the early signs are pretty encouraging, then I’d wear that Jacket to bed. (Actually might help my love life out a bit as well… both the jacket and the Launcher). It’s probably more the amount of places I see it being worn that spooks me. In the Butler Cabin we see the winner, defending champion, the Chairman, Jim Nance and the moose’s head hanging over the fireplace all draped in green coats. Then the whole crew step outside for the photo shoots and there are another 200 members standing behind the winner. I reckon I saw a green keeper drive past on a gang mower with a green jacket on top of his overalls.
Ironically, the very next week on the PGA Tour the lads play the RBC Heritage at Harbour Town where the winner receives a loud, gaudy combination of plaid and tartan jacket and must don the thing the minute they are presented with their cheque. Seriously, this thing looks like someone stole it of the set of Caddy Shack. In fact isn’t that Judge Smails who presents it each year?
Both of these could easily have won the “Larry” until I spotted the head piece worn by the President of the Shriners Hospital Tournament in Las Vegas. He was being interviewed in a break and while it was important work, I took one look at his hat and laughed myself into a frenzy. The best way I can describe it is a bright red pot plant from Bunnings turned upside down with a piece of Serena Williams braided hair a ball boy found on Court One at Wimbledon, hanging off the side.
That’s it for this year folks. I hope you’ve enjoyed your evening and make sure to drive home safely. Oh and Happy New Year and may all your bladed chip shots hit the flag and stay on the green.