When a (not so) young man’s thoughts turn to …. golf clubs

Maybe he’s just boasting, but Larry Canning tells all about a recent first date.

Larry Canning bed Large

By Larry Canning

I’VE just spent my first couple of hours with my new TaylorMade PSi irons and I reckon it went really well. We met in the Pro-Shop at Mount Broughton Golf Club and to be honest, from the moment I removed those cute little plastic bags from each head I knew we were meant for each other. I couldn’t wait to grab the grip end of the 8 iron (always my favourite club in any set, but don’t tell the others), and take my stance behind the counter.

Against all common sense and the safety of my professional colleague Dave, who was standing next to me, I suddenly became overcome with anticipation and entered into a backswing. This resulted in me knocking the sharpie pen display all over the floor and Dave leaning back like Keanu Reeves in “The Matrix”. But this bad girl felt gorgeous. Just a couple of weeks earlier, I’d had a hit with three old mates I hadn’t played with for years. Bert, Sime and Deuce are all similar ages to me and despite all of us whacking on enough kilo’s to create another human, it was just like we had stepped out of the Tardis and back into 1996.

A couple of holes into the round and it appeared our games might be a little rusty but then we all realised we were never that good anyway. On the par three 4th Bert hit first with his 6 iron and pulled it into the left hand bunker pin high. Deuce followed that up with a 7 iron and also dragged his nut into the same trap. My partner in this epic match, Sime, and I were already 2 up and saw an opportunity to really drive the lob wedge in a bit more so we spent a good deal of time discussing his club selection. This resulted in my Sime cold topping his 7 iron straight into the thick rough 5 metres in front of the tee, sending two small Minor birds, which were obviously hiding in the long grass sharing a moment of unbridled passion, to take off in different directions screeching out something that sounded very much like abuse.

Now it was my turn. For the life of me, I just couldn’t see myself getting a 7 iron back to that flag. I could do the usual and fake a miss hit or an old footy injury I suffered in my one and only game back in 1972.

(Aaah yes…It was a cold wet winter’s day when I was tearing down the wing, ball in hand about to score one of the greatest tries in Woy Woy High School history. Suddenly out of nowhere appears the full back, Woodbottom. Surely this frail little kid – who wore glasses that thick if he looked up he would burst into flames – was no match for me as I sprinted towards a four pointer. Even when I felt his arms wrap around my left ankle I had no thought of being tackled until somehow, after clinging on for another 20 metres,  the little mongrel managed to tangle my feet and I went down like I’d jumped out of a plane at 10 thousand feet and forgotten my parachute. Woodbottom, who was still connected to my ankle well into that night, was a hero and I was tormented and stirred within an inch of my life.. plus my left knee has never been the same.)

Back to 4th tee; There I was holding my 7 iron trying to gee myself up because after all, I am the only member in this group holding a PGA Membership card which means I have a responsibility to all my fellow members. That’s when I let myself and the entire PGA down, readers. I didn’t just go back one club; I went back to a bloody 5 iron.

The second we finished our round and Sime and I began celebrating our narrow and somewhat shallow victory, I snuck into the locker room, rang my techo mate at TaylorMade and told him my pathetic story. I usually do my own specs on my clubs and according to my tech man I was pretty close until I got to the shaft. “You’re using KBS Tour stiff?!”  Came the voice down the line. “Aaah…yeah… sorry”.

Apparently this is one of the strongest shafts you can get and at my swing speed it’s a wonder I didn’t dislocate my entire body trying to get anything out of them. Companies like TaylorMade spend millions on R&D and when they match a head up with a shaft it’s because they know it gets the best out of that head.

I only needed to play four holes with my new PSi irons correctly fitted with C Taper 105 shafts to realise this. BANG – 7 iron right into the heart of that green and I wanted to take my new set home and sleep with them.

In fact, I did.

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