Many people have long suspected Tiger Woods could walk on water and now there is a video to “prove” it. The first look at a long-rumoured “Jesus Shot” has been posted on YouTube, showing Woods hitting a wedge from the middle of a water hazard. Problem is, he does break Rule 13-4 in the process.

The video is expected to be part of a new promotion for the EA Sports’ Tiger Woods PGA Tour 09 Video game and comes about because of a glitch in previous editions allowing Woods, or at least his digital persona, to hit shots while walking on water.

In the new video, filmed at Woods’ Orlando, Florida compound, when his ball lands on a lily pad in a water hazard, Woods nonchalantly takes off his shoes and socks, grabs a wedge and walks across the surface of the water and hits the ball in the hole.

Keen eyed observers have already pointed out that when Woods dips his club into the water prior to his shot he clearly violates Rule 13-5.

According to the rule a player must not “touch the ground in the hazard or water in the water hazard with his hand or a club.”

Though he can violate the laws of physics by walking barefoot across the surface of a lake, breaking the laws of golf is a much more serious matter.

For violating Rule 13-5 he would incur a penalty of two strokes in stroke play or loss of hole in match play.

If Woods really can work miracles, he should do something about his knee.

Laws of Golf

 LAW 1: No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summer and, eventually, a lifetime.

LAW 2: Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst round ever. The probability of the latter increases with the number of people you tell about the former.

LAW 3: Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic. Though this cannot be proven in the lab, it is a known fact that the more expensive the golf ball, the greater its attraction to water.

LAW 4: Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play. If one does, the tree is breaking a law of the universe and should be cut down.

LAW 5: No matter what causes a golfer to duff a shot, all his playing partners must solemnly chant; “You lifted your head,” or invoke the wrath of the universe.

LAW 6: The higher a golfer’s handicap, the more qualified he deems himself as an instructor.

LAW 7: Every par-three hole in the world has a secret desire to humiliate golfers. The shorter the hole, the greater its desire.

LAW 8: Topping a 3-iron is the most painful torture known to man.

LAW 9: Palm trees eat golf balls.

LAW 10: Sand is alive. If it isn’t, how do you explain the way it works against you?

LAW 11: Golf carts always run out of juice at the farthest point from the clubhouse.

LAW 12: A golfer hitting into your group will always be bigger than anyone in your group. Likewise, a group you accidentally hit into will consist of a football player, a professional wrestler, a convicted murderer and an IRS agent — or some similar combination.

LAW 13: All Drivers are demon-possessed.

LAW 14: Golf balls from the same “sleeve” tend to follow one another, particularly out of bounds or into the water (See Law three).

LAW 15: A severe slice is a thing of awesome power and beauty.

LAW 16: “Nice lag” can usually be translated to “lousy putt.” Similarly, “tough break” can usually be translated “way to miss an easy one, sucker.”

LAW 17: The person you would most hate to lose to will always be the one who beats you.

LAW 18: Whether you are having a good or bad round, the last three holes of the round will automatically adjust your score to what it really should be.

LAW 19: Golf should be given up at least once per month.

LAW 20: All vows taken on a golf course shall be valid only until sunset.

 australianseniorgolfer.com.au

 Bill got a call from the coroner, who wanted to talk about his wife’s recent death. Bill told him the whole sad story. “We were on the third hole. Sally, my wife, was standing on the ladies tee about 30 yards ahead of the men’s box when I hit my drive. From the sound when the ball hit her head and the way she dropped like a rock, I knew immediately that she was dead. God only knows where the ball wound up.”

The coroner replied: “That explains the injury to her head, but what about the Maxfli embedded in her rectum?”

“Oh,” said Bill. “That was my provisional.”

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Somewhere in Scotland

An older golfer playing as a single at Pebble Beach was teamed with a twosome. After a few holes, the twosome finally asked why he was playing such a beautiful golf course by himself. He replied that he and his wife had played the course every year for over 20 years but this year she had passed away. He said he had decided to keep the tee time in her memory. The twosome commented that they thought certainly someone would have been willing to take her spot. “So did I,” the older golfer said, “but they all wanted to go to the funeral.”

This new golf course design is being considered for  deployment on the Parramatta River in Sydney. Designers are just working on a few glitches with the out of bounds areas.

If it doesn’t work in Sydney it will definitely fit on the Yarra.

 Do you think this design has legs? You can leave a comment to any of our stories or posts. Just click on “Comments” below.