Categorized | Columnists, Featured, Humour

Larry Canning: In 2017 I reckon……..

I HOPE I don’t sound predictable but I thought I’d have another crack at some prophecies for 2017.

This time last year amidst my rants and raves, I foresaw a victory in the British Open for one of my favourite players, Henrik Stenson. I know what you’re thinking – A Major win for the big guy was about as easy to forecast as me not winning one but at the risk of self “fladulation” it wasn’t a bad effort to choose the Open over the other three….. if I don’t say so myself.

With my confidence at an all-time high, I’m throwing some more “I Reckons” out there for 2017.

Larry’s 2017 “I Reckons”

We saw Tiger Woods showing snippets of form at the Hero World Challenge last December but a blitzkrieg of dropped shots kept him on the second page of the leader board. That’s another way of saying he come second last in a field of 18.

From all reports, after the tournament he appeared to have all the parts of his troublesome body still where they should be. And as we all know, there have been elements of Tiger’s anatomy that have caused concern for him over recent years. I’m going out on a “Limb” and stating, I reckon he’s going to have a win in 2017.

I also like a Presidents Cup victory for the Americans in 2017. With Trump’s pre-election commitment to banish just about anyone to America outside of… well, Americans… I just can’t see how the International team can find 12 Russian tour players up to the task.

I reckon an American will win on the PGA Tour that has two initials on the start of his name and a “lll” on the end. 

Bubba Watson will go another year without receiving a Facebook friend request

I reckon someone will be interviewed on TV holding the lead after the third round and say “I just need to trust my swing and have fun out there tomorrow.

There will be a huge scandal later in the year when Bernard Langer is exposed as being not actually real. A German scientist will publicly announce that his former friend and 10 time American Senior Tour Money List winner is actually one of many 27 year old clones the Langer camp use. Doctor Bunsenburger stores the DNA in a hidden underground laboratory in Liechtenstein and swaps a Bernard clone over whenever one of the others appears to be developing the putting yips.

After Jason Day wins the British Open it’s discovered he is the third major winner in a row to use a putter with a red grip. The R&A decide it’s in the best interests of the game to ban red putter grips.

Golf’s most tortured superstar, Sergio Garcia finally wins his first major, the Masters. He decides to end the pain on a good note, retires and uses his claw putting grip to become the world’s greatest flamenco guitarist.

The US Golf Association go overboard again while setting up the course for the US Open. In fact, the scores are that bad, nobody actually makes the cut. Upon further investigation it’s revealed the President of the USGA is a practising Satanic High Priest and has convinced all the committee to have monthly meetings where they run around a camp-fire naked while chanting “rough will be long and the greens will be fast – whatever it takes to kick their arse”.   

Ashley Hall has always been a good player but in a magical couple of weeks last November stepped his game up to new heights. He also instantly became one of my favourite players when he admitted he was about to take on a new job on the eve of the Aussie Open – What was that new job? “I have no idea!” he replied. After proving his Australian Open performance was no fluke by nearly wining the PGA a couple of weeks later I reckon he will win something big this year.

Lydia Ko will break the record for being the youngest player to break every record.

I will work out how to use Instagram.

Finally I reckon with the help of my about to arrive new Cleveland RX3 wedges I can break 80 in 2017. After all, my long game has never been in question.

 

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Larry Canning

About Larry Canning

Larry Canning has been a fixture on the Australian golf scene for more years than he cares to remember. As a tour player, club professional, writer, radio presenter and annoying protagonist. He knows the game, the stories and the people and loves nothing better than to offer up his opinions and yarns on to anyone who wants to listen. As well as his media gigs, Larry also plays the Australasian Legends Tour which means he has access to some true Aussie Legends. Larry’s reports are sometimes quirky, usually very humorous, but always deeply insightful.

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